


Kill Me Softly - Scars

by Feather_Dancer



Series: Kill Me Softly [6]
Category: Ghost - Mystery Skulls (Music Video), Mystery Skulls (Band)
Genre: All aboard the friendship train TOOT TOOT, Providing Lewis doesn't shove him back off, Suicide mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-14
Updated: 2014-12-14
Packaged: 2018-03-01 11:07:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2770787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Feather_Dancer/pseuds/Feather_Dancer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set 5 months after the events of Kill Me Softly, a lot has happened since then but despite Vivi's best intentions Arthur and Lewis STILL haven't talked to each other about the /incident/. With Mystery and her out for a while, and Arthur doing routine maintenance to keep his arm going strong, Lewis finally decides to break the silence.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kill Me Softly - Scars

When you are so absolutely focused on something, even if that’s just checking all your tools are just where you left them and haven’t been stolen yet again for some inane reason, you don’t tend to pay much attention to what’s going on around you. Of course even with that in mind, there are some things you probably wouldn’t have been able to plan for anyway.

“Arthur?”

He shoots straight into the air, landing on the bed with a low thunk from the dated springs sending all the tools scattering in a bid for freedom while he is momentarily distracted.

“L-Lewis?! Jesus I told you to stop doing that!” Arthur shouts not even bothering to look at the skull-tilted presence floating behind him. His concern is far more on reclaiming the escapees before they roll into the abyss somewhere, particularly the specialist ones that he makes a grab for first.

“You said any time, not my fault you didn’t hear me knock,” the ghost answers flatly.  
“I just decided on this occasion to take you up on seeing you do maintenance on that thing now things are more normal again but if you’d rather be left alone…”

He gets a sigh and a waved hand in response as Arthur dumps the remaining tools back bar his favourite (orange) screwdriver, which he keeps in hand before he finally turns to look.

“Fine guess I did… Just –please- stop appearing out of nowhere someone might have seen you! You know what these damn motels are like!” he responds none too quietly.

“Yes, and the wall between yours and Vi’s room is paper thin so please stop trying to shout loud enough for the other guests to hear you,” is his answer still in a flat tone.

There’s a gulp, didn’t think of that as he risks a glance to the spectre.

“Shit don’t think they did do you?”

“On this occasion no. They might have gone out for a while but that is why there’s extra insurance so I don’t get caught out. It pays extra for certain things it would seem.” His expression betrays absolutely nothing about what is going around that head of his.

It strikes Arthur how… paranoid? Lewis has become since he died. He still remembers the first time they discovered one of the Dead Beats had tagged along, their friend thought nothing of it like he expected it to happen which made the whole situation even weirder. Sure whenever one of the ghosties /did/ hang about, they seemed to bounce between harassing him while he was awake or just spending time with Lewis with not a sound coming from any of them outside animated expressions. 

He tries to act his best around Vivi, glimmers of his old confidence trickling through and he is always fine when actual ghost things happen but in the times between it is almost like watching a different person, lost in a different world which makes him feel worse. Plus till just a few days ago, certain gestures or words always seemed to rile him up something rotten meaning any interaction on his part was a virtual minefield and he still doesn’t have any idea what caused this change of heart (Pun unintended), but equally doesn’t want to risk asking in case it goes back to how it was.

 

“Do you -really- need to keep staring at me like that?”

Arthur blinks going red with embarrassment before swiftly looking away,

“Uhsorry, w-wasthinking,” he quickly responds just giving himself a second or two for his heart to calm down, breathes out then takes the wristband off his metal arm plonking it next to him as a quick distraction.

His response is just a simple hmm as the ghost crosses his arms; oddly he does nothing to berate the blonde for it like he normally might. 

There is a surprised sound quickly after though.

“…What are you doing?”

“Taking my shirt off jeez. I’m not having shit get stuck in this thing, it’s a nightmare getting it out without taking the entire connection plates apart at this end. Sides not like you’ve never seen me without one before is it?”

If Arthur was looking at him he might have even caught that slight reddening before it disappears for mild curiosity. Unfortunately for him, he is too preoccupied with using the quick release lock near the wrist to get his arm off a bit quicker even if there is a distinct long hiss of pain as he does it.

“Are you all right?”

“Huh? Oh yeah, stings like a bitch if you do it this way but fuck it I can’t be arsed doing it the long way when I’ve got an audience hanging over me.”

“Sorry.”

“Hey beats ten minutes of boring waiting on the pain killers and the one screw that won’t come out the plating properly thanks to a bit melting a ways back. Seriously, that’s part of the reason this thing has a release built in, I hate the in between stage it feels like having the old one fitted all over again and I don’t need the reminder if I’ve got no crutch. Only thing that bothers me is how long it took me to think of even putting the damn thing in,” Arthur answers rolling his remaining shoulder with a creak after he gently takes the arm away from his flesh. He won’t own up to the fact the real reason was a quick drop when some bastard went and tried to grab him by it one too many times.  
“Sides, can’t look anymore like shit than I do already right?”

 

A few innocent minutes pass before Arthur gets very unnerved; Lewis suddenly moved without warning folding himself up to sit on the bed beside him absolutely silent and is now peering intently at his now exposed shoulder, scars and all.

“Do you really need to be that close?” the blond asks looking warily out the corner of his eye as he checks the joints are still mobile enough to work with on the bed beside him. Little bit easier on a flat if bubbly surface.

“I’m looking at something. Why, why do you have a scar that looks like a stab wound on your neck, Arthur. That’s new.” His eyes have that distinct frown look he seems to have a habit of addressing most things with.

Arthur stops a moment, fingers resting on the metal palm wondering how exactly to phrase this.

“Eh that old thing, turns out your aim sucks when you’re drugged up why it’s there and a complete miss. I really was not in a good way even when dosed up on so much pain relief I shoulda been knocked out but was kinda fighting the hell out of it to stop all the damn nightmares. That was attempt two I think? In the space of a few hours when wasn’t tied down in restraints. Boy those nurses loved me those first few days I was an outright pain in the arse when I was conscious,” he answers with a disturbingly non-chalant shrug dumping the arm in his lap to start work.

“Why, what else did you do?” 

Arthur pauses with a frown, did that sound like concern?

“First wasn’t deliberate I swear but high in the middle of a nightmare rush I might have tried to throw myself out the window apparently. Got told I was screaming something about deserving it far more. Heh, less dramatic but a sentiment that has kinda stuck honestly. Vivi yelled at me for not staying put long enough to get coffee and tried to dump it on my face sept a Nurse was there,” he mulls over the words before he continues.  
“Think the last one was stopped before I got to do anything, have to ask Vivi I don’t remember think I was sleep deprived or some stupid shit. Didn’t happen again after that thanks to being dumped on suicide watch. People staring at you 24/7 to make sure you breathe really makes you question your choices a tad. Not my proudest moment among the many sure. The entire hospitalisation thing was a fiasco and that’s BEFORE the new arm bullshit, I don’t know how either of them put up with it.”

He takes no notice of the silence that follows. Lewis’ answer to many subjects he won’t talk about or when he just wants to think he will shut up until the mood takes him to say something again choosing instead to crack on with a wiring check in the shoulder part. He misses the look of unease, the confusion with it.

 

“I still have odd nightmares where I hear the voices you know, hell even I think I hear them when I’m awake sometimes which probably makes me sound nuts but guess you get used to it after a while as just vacant background noise. It’s strange, just like a weird echo sorda thing like someone just whispers as they walk past, you turn to look and nobody is there and you can’t pin down where you’ve heard it before. They’re always super gloaty though, a major superiority vibe as you’re just worthless trash beneath them and you know they’re right,” he pipes up again still intently working.  
“Sure had nightmares before but, these ones all stems from the same place and boy do they like to ram it down your throat. Vi punched me awake one time as I wouldn’t snap out of it so hard practically left a dent in my face. Fraid you missed it by a few months though, sorry.”

“I am afraid I only know colour… I believe we have heard the odd whisper but it has been silent for some time, since leaving that wretched hole or at least that is the case for me,” Lewis answers in a contemplative tone making Arthur pause with an odd expression.

“When you start up like that I can never tell if you’re on about yourself or the ghosties, it’s really confusing.”

“Because in this regard it is all of us. We all did /die/ there after all in case you forgot.”

Arthur tries to apologise, stuttering words but Lewis sharply cuts him off.

“The quietest, I’m told, was after I ended up there and they didn’t know what to make of it. It was… part of the reason they felt safe enough to try and help me when I woke up confused and /alone/. Instead it seems, as the fresh meat becomes the new target of something that lingers, that whispers so sweetly into your ear telling you everything will be okay if you just do one little thing. Once the spark was set it descended into nothing but us trying to figure out how to leave,” he says, glancing to the heart barely tinged with blue around it’s edges.  
“They were stranded, I wasn’t so I became their way out and that connection has never waned since. I have no idea how long it was but I can barely think of a time it wasn’t there much like a lot of the before. Lot of us or nothing I’m afraid.”

“Heh, sounds familiar,” Arthur adds with a smile moving onto the next tool.

Lewis rolls his eyes, falling back into looking at his exposed shoulder with a frown matching his crossed arms as he floats himself out the way. He knows most of these scars, one of few things highlighted strongly on his fragmented memory but these ones, like his neck, unnerve him. They actually /do/ look like teeth marks. Arthur claimed Mystery ripped his arm off and he did not believe him and yet… How can that be possible? He’s just a little dog whose most dangerous stunts usually involved biting and hanging on for dear life and no way his jaws are -that- big.

The thought bothers him and he privately wonders if it involves the colours he occasionally sees, the reds and the greens around teeth and torso.

 

Ten more minutes stretch by in a not all too uncomfortable silence as Arthur concentrates on checking every little part meticulously, which greatly impresses his observer until he ruins it without even daring to look at his face.

“Did you love me?”

Lewis glares so hard his eyes begin to blaze causing a ripple effect into his hair.

“That’s a loaded question Arthur, and you know it.”

“Yeah, guess it is, I, I’m sorry,” Arthur says quietly with a sigh. He shouldn’t have said anything; some subjects are still off limits but maybe…

“Look, I want you to know something I shoulda told you a long time ago but like a fucking coward I kept my mouth shut and took long enough for me to be able to say shit to Vivi too, all right? You guys were the -only- ones who made me feel normal, like ever, that there was nothing actually wrong with me you know? Not like how I’ve been made to feel all the while growing up and feeling like shit as a result from something not being right in my head. And if you’re gonna suggest him, he counts only in the not pushing for it,” Arthur pauses to take a deep breath, point blank not even trying to look behind him.  
“And then as a thank you I let myself get talked into shoving someone so important to me to his death. After that... I just couldn't take it anymore. That illusion of being okay just kinda deserted me and it’s never really come back. The fear crashed in a flood that if I wasn’t broken somehow it never would have happened,” he continues quietly trying to stop himself from crying by jamming his arm in his face, it’s all so stupid.

“There was never anything wrong with you, Arthur.”

“There’s a whole world out there that says I shouldn’t exist and doubt they give much of a shit that two people, important granted, and a dog beg to differ.”

“But do -they- matter?”

There is silence in response and not from the usual causer of it as he hunches himself up crushing the metal arm to his chest.

“No, I, I guess they don’t.”

“Is… it something to do with the reason you started acting up a week or so before we went in there?” Lewis asks, concern is starting to taint his voice again.

Arthur immediately freezes.

“Mean I was going to ask at the time but Viv figured better not to given when you started up… Or least till after we could drag you out and get you drunk or something. Being a chatterer we figured be the best way to get it out of you since you generally clam up about anything personal and wanted to still respect your space.”

“I am not! You’re just saying that as I get hammered enough my memory goes to shit faster plus Vivi used to get all those damn photos to blackmail me for her chores!” he grumbles, still refusing to look.

“And you’re dodging my question, was it?” The tone is even if a touch annoyed.

“… Sort of. But not just that all right? It was my own head mess and crazy shit that was bubbling away and me refusing to say anything that it ran with, as I got too scared of what you two would do. It tempted me with an “easy fix” that if I wasn’t so godamn terrified of everything I would have been able to call out bullshit before it even started possessing me! Hell, I might have even realised it was doing it when I could still move! But… I didn’t. I gave it a chance with that stupid stupid tainted thought sitting there long enough for it to poke it and made things even worse and that was before I killed you!” tears are falling, he won’t try to stop them this time.  
“But I swear, I don’t regret shit with you two bar what happened in that damn place. But… But I deserved every bit of heartache for what I let myself do. I still caused it, I let it and I can say sorry so many times but it doesn’t change the fact you’re freaking floating right now and rightfully despise me,” he’s rambling so hard he realises bitterly, the words he never dared voice when it still mattered.

He wants to say more, the other reason why he made everything go wrong but the words don’t feel ripe yet. He just mumbles that he didn’t deserve to be happy instead.

Silence rolls back in ignoring only the sounds of Arthur sniffling as he rubs his face again and a tiny whisper of, you deserve better slipping out.

 

He nearly jumps out of his skin when he feels a palm on his mangled shoulder not even hiding the surprised squeak.

“How can I forgive you if you refuse to forgive yourself, Artie?”

He actually shortened his name? He never does that anymore, or touches him, ever.

“Look, you’re not the only one with stupid things banging around your head that would be nice to burn away but I need time. I’ve had to hold a literal murderous grudge for far too long to just toss it away casually but eventually it’ll happen. Just know you really don’t need to be scared of me anymore, I’m still in here somewhere, I think. I just need the right people to remind me of that given my memories are so shot, mean now or never right?”

Arthur tries to say something as he twists himself round to look at the ghost properly just to find that Lewis has slipped back into mostly how he was in life, the only person he ever saw get away with so much purple and still look great. He then has the bonus surprise of feeling himself being pulled into a proper bear hug only he could do.

He squeaks yet again but quickly throws his flesh arm around his neck burying his face into the dead man’s shoulder sobbing quietly in sheer /relief/ much to the slight smile of the one abusing the appearance of a lower jaw.

 

…

 

“… Since when did you get pierced.”

**Author's Note:**

> Oh god is there some uncomfortably personal stuff in here based on my own experience that I'm super paranoid about as I've never put that mess down in any form.
> 
> What was the incident that finally made Lewis start to act better? Who knows! It may get brought up at some point :) But least their friendship finally has a shot at not going to complete hell.
> 
> Next up is Stay With Me, a very very short oneshot taking place within days of the cave incident. Look forward to it! I don't want to confine myself writing with the timeline in sequence so this verse will jump about a bit in that sense :)


End file.
